Annie
by candle.light.serenade
Summary: Bella and her best friend Annie bond in the worst of times, their life without the Cullens...and through their every changing relationships with their eternal loves...starts in New Moon NOW beginning Eclipse!
1. Chapter 1

**Annie**

Annie is your average teenager living with a family of vampires. This is the story of her life, love, and everything in between. I added the characters Annie and Matt. (I got the idea to create the character of Annie from Vanessa Carlton's song Annie.) I'm sorry that this won't be a B/E but I can't write in the mind set of Bella...I've tried and it just sucked hard! But I didn't take Bella out which is what might make things confusing. It's Bella/Matt and Annie/Edward. I started writing this wanting to go from Twilight, but I thought it would move too slow and decided to start it in New Moon!!

Please give it a try!!

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I was driving to school today. It wasn't raining for once, which meant that everyone felt I could handle being behind the wheel. One accident and I'm forever the passenger, probably due to the fact that I totaled the car and ended up with a broken arm. I wasn't driving everyone, though, just my sisters. We three girls all crammed into the tiny silver Volvo. It wasn't my first choice, but I had learned to take what I can get and smile about it. Plus there was the fact that no one else trusted me with their cars, leaving me with no other option.

Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see the giant headlights of Emmett's Jeep. I smile softly to myself. He was following closely behind me, no doubt at the request of Rosalie or even one of the other boys. I hated the way they all treated me like a delegate porcelain doll. It was ridiculous the way they all keep their eyes glued on me, and I knew that my every move was carefully followed and thought out. They would probably know if something was going to happen to me before I did. The thought was reassuring and creepy and overprotective all at the same time.

The music was barely audible, at least to me. I could see Alice in the back bobbing her head and singing along quietly. She didn't seem to be as rigid as Rosalie, though I knew she was just as alert. Rosalie was stiff next to me. She was concentrated on the environment outside the front window and whether something was going to jump out of no where and try to hurt me. She was the most protective over me. I knew she had her reasons, but it was sometimes overbearing.

I glanced back again quickly this time, knowing that Rosalie was watching my every move. I could see him in the passenger seat. He was probably just as nervous as Rosalie. He trusted me, though I knew he was only giving me what I wanted because he knew I'd do what I wanted anyway. We had a good relationship that way. I liked knowing that he was there when I needed him, yet he was far enough away that I felt like I still had some personal space. Not everyone realized how overbearing they came off. It had gotten to the point that I didn't fight it anymore. Edward was an exception. He liked the distance, which was the problem sometimes. Our relationship was too complicated to think about sometimes. I found that it was just better to think about the present and not fret about what was going to come later. All I needed was what I had now.

I thought about the guy that was waiting for me at school. He was just some school mate that had the pleasure of dating me for the month. I tended to go through boyfriends like tissues. Being a junior in high school I wasn't looking for anything more serious. A cute guy that was a good kisser was all I needed for the time being. Something more serious could potentially become problematic. I was a well liked girl at Forks High, and I used that to my advantage. I had plenty of friends which put me with the in crowd, and the fact that my family was the center of all the gossip it was easy to find people to talk to. Everyone wanted to be close to the Cullens and what better way than to befriend the only normal and fun one in the school. Sure it sounded a little cruel and insensitive, but I didn't care. I knew which ones were in it to be my friends and which ones just wanted to know all the dirty little secrets, which I never told.

Life was short, and I knew it. That was the only reason I was trying so hard to get all the living I could done now. Rosalie had broken it down for me. I was only fourteen, and she told me the cold hard truth about everything a girl that age would never want to hear. There were some things that I had hoped to avoid for most of my life. My family didn't see it that way. They all wanted what was best for me. This I always laughed at, because there was no way for them to know what was best for me. No matter what I told them, they wanted me to live like they didn't or couldn't. I was the little hope that they had left. A little piece of normal that was going to be their sunshine in a dark world, I endured anything they felt I had to.

"Annie, please focus on the road." Rosalie cautioned me with annoyance. I gave her a weak, but reassuring smile as I trained my eyes only on the stretch of road in front of me. We were almost there, though we could have been there sooner if they had let me drive a little faster than the speed limit. It normally took us less time, considering their lack of human response time. I knew it was killing Emmett to drive slower than normal.

"Rose, she's doing fine. Cool it." Alice's voice rang from the back seat. I gave her a smile in the mirror. I could never choice between the two of them. They were both perfect sisters in their own special ways. Rosalie had the protection and worry down, while Alice was fun and clever. I knew which one to go to for any type of problem. No matter what was going on in my life I had someone to go to.

Love and reassurance was never lacking in my life. My family had the perfect system. My parents were always there whenever I needed anything, they loved me more than anyone I'd ever known and we weren't even related by blood. My sisters were always there to cheer me up and make sure that I was the happiest I could be. But when it came to my brothers it was a whole other ball game. The boys were fun to say the least. Each one of them had a different relationship with me, which made everything more complicated. Matt was my blood brother, and he was the youngest of the Cullen family. I couldn't remember what he was like when he was alive, but I didn't care. I loved him all the same. Emmett was the most fun to hang out with. I loved playing bizarre and stupid games with him. He thought I was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. Jasper was down right my favorite brother. He was always looking out for me, even when I didn't see him doing it. He was the one I ran to when I was afraid or hurt. Ironically he was the only one that really felt like a brother should. Edward was in a whole other category. I loved him.

OoOoOoOoOoO

This was before Bella came into the picture. I wasn't so sure about her then, but now I don't know how I survived without her. She was the best friend I always needed. Someone to share my family's secret with, and being able to talk about normal teenage girl things with as well, Bella was the perfect match. I liked having her around, even if the others didn't. Matt was happier, which made me like her even more.

I was surrounded by different wrapping paper, straying away from the usual stuff Alice used. Bella's birthday was coming up and I was going to make sure she loved it. She had told us not to do anything. I knew why, I understood why, but that wasn't going to stop me. She was my best friend and I was going to do something nice for her. My gift wasn't as extravagant as the others, but that's what made it so special. She would love me little homemade photo album of the passed summer. It didn't cost a thing and it held so many memories I'm sure none of us were ever going to forget.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alone and Homeless**

It was late at night, probably early morning, but I couldn't fall asleep. Bella's birthday party had been a disaster, and it was still running through my mind. I knew it wasn't going to be the bet birthday she'd ever had, but I didn't expect a blood bath, which is exactly what had happened.

I had stood next to Rosalie, her arms wrapped around my waist. Bella was standing with Matt across the room. I could tell she wasn't happy, but I knew the presents would make up for it. I loved seeing my family gather for something so fun. But the enjoyment didn't last long. Bella cut her finger, a tiny cut, but everything moved too fast. Jasper lunged and I saw the boys move to stop him. I yelled when I saw Matt push Bella towards the crystal. Rosalie gripped me tighter as I tried to pull away to help Bella. I felt her arms push against my ribs, bruising them. It was over in a heartbeat, Bella bleeding worse than before, Jasper no where to be seen, and everyone else in the house trying to resist the smell of freshly spilt blood.

I could hear them all move around down stairs. Emmett's Jeep coming to life, which was probably Jasper and Alice leaving. This was changing everything. Matt was changing everything. I noticed the way he had been acting with Bella since the accident. At first I didn't think anything of it, but I knew now. I only wished I had been in on the decision. I closed my eyes shut as I heard my door creak open.

"It's not fair…" I whispered as I felt my mattress shift under the new weight. Cold arms wrapped around me. I wanted to pull away, but I couldn't force myself too.

"I'm sorry, Annie." My breath caught in my throat, as I heard Edward whisper against my neck.

"Don't leave," I nearly choked. I stared into the darkness with wide eyes, hoping the tears that were forming wouldn't fall. "Stay with me."

"You know I can't. We have forever, Annie, we don't need to rush." My jaw tightened as I heard him murmur our moto. Forever was the only thing he could promise me, while in the present I received nothing but fleeting kisses and sweeping touches. He kissed my neck, right at the pulse point. "I'll come back for you." I felt the weight leave the bed. Another promise, I knew Edward couldn't keep. I definitely wasn't falling asleep knowing they had all left me.

It was eerie quiet down stairs. I scooted out of my bed and turned on my bedside lap. I made up my mind quickly, something I learned to do with a sister like Alice. I pulled a duffle bag out from under my bed and started to pack. I put in jeans, sweaters, t-shirts, everything that was essential. When it felt like it weighted fifty pounds I changed and ran downstairs. My stomach dropped as my assumption had been right, they really were gone.

A green Jeep Wrangler, one smaller much smaller than Emmett's, was sitting in the garage. A parting gift from my dad I supposed. Apparently, not all the car's had been needed. Some were still sitting in their normal spots, covered with white drapes. Even more furious than I had been before, I threw the duffle bag in the back. Starting the car I drove to the only other place I knew I'd feel at home: Bella's house.

I thought that Bella would let me stay at her house. I knew Charlie wouldn't mind. But I hadn't thought this all the way through. If my family was gone, this meant that Bella would be heartbroken without Matt. Pulling up to the house, I was crossing the front lawn as Sam was leaving. He along with his **pack** had smirks on their faces. I couldn't help but glare back at them.

"Annie…" Charlie's breathless voice met me at the door. I looked at his exhausted expression and worried eyes.

"Charlie what happened?" I asked full of concern.

"Your brother…" He spat back at me. I flinched as his words hit me, moving back a step defensively. I didn't think he'd take this out on me. Matt, I could tell, wasn't his favorite person, but it wasn't like I had any control over his actions.

"Charlie, I'm so sorry. Is she okay, can I …"

"Not now, Annie. I'll have her call you." He closed the door on me then. This meant I was really alone, and was probably without a best friend for awhile. I could only hope she wasn't going to take her anger at Matt out on me, like her father had decided to do.

Once my new car, I didn't know where else to go. I didn't want to explain everything to Jessica, just to have her spread the gossip. Angela would kill me for coming to her house this late at night, and I couldn't go to any of the boys' they wouldn't care either way. I started driving, before I even knew where I was going. The La Push sign gave my heart a little jolt. This was the last place I thought I'd ever go for help.

I knocked on the door hoping he wasn't enjoying himself at the bonfire like I knew Sam and his minions were. "Billy, please open up." I yelled. He flung the door open, probably surprised to hear my voice at his door.

"Annie, what are you doing here?" I couldn't tell him. I shouldn't need too. He must have known they were gone, but I guess he thought they would have taken me with them, just like I had. Carlisle was supposed to be the good guy, the loving father figure, not an abandoner. I fell to my knees, sobbing into his lap. He stroked my hair, a fatherly touch I so desperately needed at this moment. "Come in, sweetheart."

I pulled myself together long enough to get inside the house. Jacob was probably at the party, not fully understanding it's meaning, but I was glad. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to be here at all, but I was homeless. Billy let me stay in a spare room, one I suppose belonged to his daughters. I settled in as best I could. I cried myself to sleep, and knew I wasn't going to wake up in the morning for school. I stayed in a state of shock watching the day come and go through a window. I was living with the enemy. Someone I thought I hated me as much as they hated my family, but Billy looked after me. He brought me breakfast, and lunch, and didn't ask a single question. He didn't push to know what had happened. I liked the comfortable silence. I liked letting my thoughts run free instead of caging them or muting them.

If this is what it felt like to be a normal teenage girl, then I didn't want it. I wanted to be with my immortal family. I loved being gently rocked to sleep in cold marble arms. I loved hearing the muffled conversations as I slept. I loved my room with the black windows overlooking the forest. I would trade one day of free thoughts and emotions, for one more night in my house with the family I loved.


	3. Chapter 3

_I know this story is in some major need of a back ground, but I promise you that I will get there. I promise there will be some chapter's dedicated solely on reveiling the background between Annie and the Cullens. If there's anything you'd like to be explained just let me know and I'll incorperate it into the story!!!_**

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**Change**

I parked in my usual spot, glad that all the stares had diminished. My Jeep drew attention, just as much as I did. It had been two months since the Cullens left. At first everyone gaped at me as I parked my new car, which still looked lavish draped in the mud from the reservation, compared to the other cars in the parking lot. I walked to class alone most of the time, unless zombie Bella was around to pretend to talk to, but I think that made me look almost as pathetic as she did. Even Jessica avoided me the first few days, giving her enough time to spread the gossip before actually asking me what happened.

Bella didn't help my cause at all. She just walked around, oblivious to everything. Charlie finally let me see her after a month of silence. I think he needed someone to talk to since Bella had gone mute. I didn't mind. Going to their house was the only normal I had left in my life. I liked to pretend that I was just there to study and at the end of the night I could go home and curl up in my big canopy bed at home. Unfortunately, the second I started my engine I knew I was going to be sleeping restlessly in the Black's small home.

The day went on as usual, Bella walking along side me. My classes were too easy, seeing as how I had nothing better to do now than study. I let my mind wonder all over the world, building these fantastic images. Alice and Jasper traveling to Milan for a shopping trip, she always said they had the best silk dresses. Rosalie and Emmett were probably taking a second, or technically fifth, honeymoon. They were happy, I knew. Carlisle had called the first week, I hadn't answered, to tell me he was teaching at a university in the east. He was most likely happy too. Matt and Edward were probably off traveling the globe, like the two musketeers. Forgetting about me and definitely forgetting about Bella.

The seat behind me was empty, and the space made the tiny history class seem smaller. He sat there. If I started daydreaming or falling asleep, he'd run a cold finger down my neck. I snapped the pencil I was holding. Thinking of them infuriated me.

"Annie, just relax. Everything's fine, I don't know why you always jump to conclusions." Matte told me while I was doing some homework at the kitchen table. I was concerned with the way he'd been acting with Bella. "Just worry about school, there's nothing going on." He kissed my forehead before disappearing into the garage, were all the other boys were. I really did believe him then. I relaxed and focused on school, and then they left without a sound, without taking anything, without saying goodbye, without me.

"Annie," I heard Jessica call to me. Everyone was making their way to lunch, but I was too angry. I knew it would be easier if I just left. Suddenly, I was furious. It wasn't just the past few months, but with my entire life in general. I hated the girl that I was and I hated what I had let myself be reduced to. I knew Bella wouldn't miss me, and everyone else probably didn't care what I did. I wasn't the same friend they had last year.

I sped back to La Push after picking up some things at a convenience store. Billy was at home, but I needed a girl's help. I parked in front of the Clearwater's house. I knocked, glad that it was Leah who answered. She had been really nice to me while I was staying at Billy's. She was like my substitute sister, and she was someone that didn't know the full extent of my life, which was refreshing here.

"Leah, do you mind helping me with some things?" She smiled, letting me into the empty house.

We were sitting in silence, in her chilly bathroom. She moved expertly with the scissors. My curls fell limply to the floor losing all their bounce as she severed them. Tears fell along with every strand. This might have been my decision, but it wasn't what I wanted to do. It was the principle of everything that I stood for. I was independent and free. No one could tell me what to do with my life. No one could force me to do something I didn't want to do. I needed to remind myself of that girl that found a reason to laugh and smile no matter what was happening to her.

"Don't ever cut your hair…" Edward's voice rang beautifully in my ears. We were alone in the living room, something that was rare in our house. I was wrapped tightly in a blanket and tucked delicately against his hard chest. He ran a hand through my dark elbow length curls.

"Matt had the same color thought, I'm thinking about changing it…"

"No," he growled lowly, pulling me tighter against him chest. "I prefer brunettes." I twisted in his arms, a smile on my face.

"No changing then," I said as I gazed into his warm honey eyes. The stare he fixed me with warmed me more than the blanket ever could.

"I want you like this forever." I leaned up to kiss him, glad that he was just as eager to meet my lips.

"What do you think?" Leah's voice cut through my thoughts, pulling me back to my depressing life. She looked at my face, blotchy from the silent sobs that had run through my body unnoticed. "You don't like it? I tried to keep it long, but still make it look a little…"

Her voice died out as I ran a hand through my hair. My curls were gone, just like I'd asked her to do. My chestnut locks were now a modest honey blonde, just dark enough to still be blonde, but not light enough to look like a Hollywood tramp. She had layered it expertly to my shoulders, adding sweeping bangs coming across my face to the right. Leah had insisted on straightening the curls with a hot iron, something I had never had the patience for before today. My hand glided over the smooth texture of my new tresses. Tears were still falling silently down my face.

"It's a change." The defiance in my tone was lost on her, but I knew what I was doing. I had changed like the Cullens couldn't. I liked the feeling of doing something that I wanted to do. I had blindly obeyed Matt, Carlisle, everyone, for so long that I needed a little teenage rebellion. I felt my anger subside and my tears dry up. A small smile broke out at the corners of my lips.

"For what it's worth, I think it looks great." Leah said cautiously as she began to clean up the mess we'd made with the dye and cutting.

"I know, you did an amazing job, thanks."

I spent the rest of the day sitting on Billy's couch. I had gone back to my house in the first month and taken a few things out of my room. One such thing being a box Rosalie and Esme kept everything from my baby blanket to my last report card. They wanted proof that I was accomplishing things they couldn't and that they raised me well. I found photo album, a journal, and home videos. All reminders of the life I would probably never have again.

The pictures were mostly of me as an infant. I was either being held or playing with some toy with an intense state of concentration. It amazed me at the perfect images, I was tiny and unaware, while they were no different from the last memory I had of them. The journal was something I'd never seen before. The pages were yellowed with age and the binding was coming loose. I flipped to a random page and began to read.

_Rosalie held Annie in her arms through the night. I brought her home only hours before, and the little girl fell asleep as soon as she was in her arms. She's small for her age, but I think Rosalie and Esme prefer her that way. _

I recognized the hand writing immediately. Carlisle had been keeping a journal on me when I was a baby. As I thought about it, I understood his reasoning. He was a doctor after all, and he wanted to make sure he missed nothing of importance. I flipped a little farther into its pages.

_Matthew and Edward came home finally. I thought they weren't going to come back at all. Annie had no idea who her brother is, which I think is a little upsetting to him. She's taken a liking to Emmett, calling him brother now, which seems to be a realistic choice considering he is the only other male figure she's really come in contact with. Jasper has been keeping his distance which is wise of him. I hope Matthew can regain his role in her life. He's the only real family she's got. My only fear now is the years to come. I don't want to expose her to what we really are…_

I shut the book, throwing it carelessly back into the box. I had no family anymore. I put in some of the tapes next, knowing they were only going to make the sadness more prominent, but I had to do this. I needed the closure I was hoping they'd give.

I liked the images of me as a toddler running around with Emmett hot on my heels. There were some of Esme or Rosalie feeding me. They seemed so normal. The images of a happy family wanting to document the development of their infant growing into a young woman were all too normal for the Cullens in my mind. There were some videos of things I hadn't realized were being taped. It amazed me at how happy I was as a ten year old jumping around on Christmas morning, and the smile I had at my sixteenth birthday when Emmett was teaching me to drive. If anyone had seen these and not known what was lying hidden in the corner, it would almost seem like I was raised like a normal happy child.

"You miss them?" Billy's voice boomed over the low volume of Alice's laughter.

"No so much anymore. I'm moving on," I said as I stopped the tape. The box was hidden under my bed from that day on. A silent reminded of what I lost, but a place to go when I was ready to remember what I had to make me who I was now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Normalcy**

"Hey Charlie," I called as I let myself into the Swan house. It had now been weeks since my emotional reinvention and I was happier than I ever thought I would be again. I had been spending a lot of time with Bella even if I got nothing out of her it was nice to have my best friend near me. "I come with bags of nutrition, something that is heavily lacking in this house."

"I can feed myself, Annie." Charlie met me in the kitchen, taking a grocery bag out of my arms. I placed the other bag on the kitchen table.

"I'm sure you cam." I said as I picked up an empty pizza box. "I'm cooking you dinner tonight."

"No, you don't need to do that. I'm capable of…" Charlie stopped as I let out a quiet laugh, which turned into a fit of giggles. "What?" He asked indignantly.

"Nothing, just let me cook. It's been awhile since I got to do anything. Billy likes keeping me on the couch or in my room. It's a very male dominated house. I need some normalcy." I shooed him out of my way. He didn't move far, just to the other end of the table, but I didn't mind. It was nice having someone to talk to that didn't have a guilty or sympathetic undertone. Billy always talked to me like I would break if he said the wrong words.

I couldn't help but think back to the summer. Bella and I would call each other as we cooked. Our conversations would be stupid and girlie, with nothing of substance, but it was something that we shared. We bonded more over the phone than we ever did in person, mostly because Matt was always there with us. Even in classes I felt like I had to fight with everyone to get Bella's attention. Amazing how things changed so quickly, Bella didn't pay attention to anyone anymore. I hated the zombie qualities she'd developed.

"How's our girl?" I asked Charlie, while dipping the chicken strips I cut into some batter. I saw Charlie's eyes flicker out of the room. "That's bad?"

"She's getting better, I think. She needs time." I nodded. Maybe she did, or maybe she just needed the closure I did. We sat through dinner silently. Each of us lost in thoughts too deep to express without feeling awkward. No matter where I am, there's no one that will understand what goes through my mind. I don't even think Bella would get it. I only hope that one day I'll at least get the chance to have a normal conversation with her again.

The next morning I woke up earlier than necessary. Jacob and I have been going through this annoying shower phase. He gets up before me and uses all the hot water, leaving me with the pleasure of a cold shower. After the first month I had grown accustomed to it, but I wasn't in the mood today. I needed warmth.

"Jake!" I yelled as I stepped into the icy waterfall. I bathed quickly, trying to keep my body from shaking. At least the towels were warm.

"Nice shower, Annabel?" Jacob asked from the kitchen table, with a smug smile on his face.

"Annie, Jacob, my name is not Annabel." I corrected for what felt like the thousandth time. I went straight for my pop tarts, trying my hardest to ignore his presence.

"Sorry Ms. Annie Cul…"

"Please don't, Jake. Annie Masen, okay. Better yet, just don't address me at all." It came out as a jab, but I meant every word. If he didn't say my name then I wouldn't have to think about who gave it to me. He didn't know, of course, but I still hated the fact that I shared the name of someone who loved to leave me.

"Alright Annie," Jake came and engulfed me in a hug. His arms wrapped easily around me, his chest warming my back. He was at least a head taller than me. "I won't waste the water anymore, I promise." I wasn't focusing on his words, just his body. I knew what was happening to him. The warmth, the height, the strength, it all pointed to one thing: werewolf.

"Thanks, Jakey" I kissed him fleetingly on the arm, clasping his hands with my shaky ones. He didn't notice, thankfully. We went along the rest of the day as normal, saying quick goodbyes as we both headed off to our respectful schools.

I didn't go to school. Instead I ended up in a doctor's office, a place I had been trying to avoid like any other place in town that reminded me of those gone. I stayed there for most of the afternoon, something that would have been fine if I weren't completely alone.

Walking into the Newton's store that night, I thought about the horrible four hours that awaited me. Bella just stood there, Mike was a pain in the ass, and the customers didn't care about anything but the sales. I just wanted to curl up in my borrowed bed and cry my eyes out. It had been one of those days, a cry your eyes out days. My trip to the doctor had been painful and mundane, they knew nothing new. I just had to grin and bare it because anything was better than going back to Billy's house.

"Well, look who decided to show up." Mike's voice taunted me as I walked though the door. I didn't say anything, just slipped in behind the counter next to Bella.

"You're not even that late," Bella whispered to me. I froze, gawking at her. The first words she's said to me in three months.

"He's a jerk," I said with a smile, pretending Mike wasn't watching, though I knew he wanted to see my expression to Bella's change in mood. "Besides, you wouldn't sell anything if I wasn't so persuasive and charming."

Bella smiled at that, and I knew things were finally going back to normal. Maybe it wasn't a cry your eyes out day after all. The store was busy as usual, all the customers looking for new camping gear getting ready to find the bear causing the attacks. It was all so stupid to me. Who would want to go camping in the frigid air? I didn't complain though, Bella and I picked up right where we left off, avoiding certain areas of course.

"Ann," a familiar voice pulled me out of a light conversation. My face lit up as I saw the man it belonged to.

"I'll be back." I told Bella as I sauntered off to help him.

He was Travis, a customer that started coming in a lot more lately. He was twenty, athletic, outdoorsy, and a sophomore at State. I fell for him instantly. He comes in more than twice a week, hanging out with me on breaks. I can't say I love him, I can barely say I like him, but he's what a girl like me should want.

All I really want is a little normalcy in my life. I want a boy who loves me, friends to talk to, a house to stay at. I'm not asking for much, just enough to get me by.

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Let me know what you think...


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is mostly all flashbacks. I put them in italics so it's not too confusing....enjoy.**

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**Faking It**

_Bella's POV_

I screwed up a lot of things over the last few months. I feel as though I missed an entire year, watching everything in a dream like state. My friends walk on eggshells around me, even though Jessica isn't talking to me at the moment. It feels like everything is my fault, like I did something wrong and there's no fixing it.

I wait for Annie in the parking lot everyday, watching the friends I use to have. Annie takes her time, talking with her friends, and sometimes playing with the boys. As I watch her, I notice little things I didn't before, like the way she smiles now and the way she dresses. She's changed and I didn't even notice.

"She's really happy, isn't she?" Angela came to stand next to me. I liked that she still talked to me like nothing happened. We sat in silence as we watched Annie across the parking lot. It wasn't the same as the first time I saw her.

_I noticed Annie almost instantly. Her laughter was loud and perfect. For such a dreary place Annie seemed like a ray of sunshine in the rain of my first day at Fork's High. Her smile lit up her face, which was pale and rosy cheeked. I was jealous of the way her brunette curls bounced as she walked. I could tell she was one of the popular girls because she acted just like the ones I had avoided in Phoenix. Annie turned, catching my gaze and gave me a warm welcoming smile I couldn't help but return. _

Annie had changed drastically since then. She wasn't as confident as I remembered her. Every move she made seemed to be forced and fake. I wasn't too surprised that she was hurt, but I expected her to be openly hurt, not hide it from people that cared about her. Angela didn't seem to notice though. Neither did anyone else I guessed. I seemed to be the only one that had really seen her before.

The blonde beauty that pranced around the halls now was an echo of the real Annie. She was a doll pretending to be happy and full of life. I saw Annie avoiding what was really happening. I just wish I was strong enough to talk to her about it. Instead I'm just going to watch, and hope that soon she'll figure everything out for the both of us. I was relying on her to be strong and help me through this.

I showed up to work and Mrs. Newton was at the counter with Annie. I put a smile on my face, hoping it wasn't as noticeably fake as Annie's was. A truck pulled into the parking lot as I entered the store. Annie was running passed me before I even got to the counter.

"I'll be back," she said as we passed. I nodded watching her from behind the counter. A guy got out of the truck, I recognized him from a few days ago. She ran into the guys arms, kissing him with a smile on her face. He held her close to him, and she kept her arms tightly around him.

"I think it's cute. I've never seen a girl more in love." Mrs. Newton said to me. I noticed that she was watching Annie just like I was. I didn't have the heart to disagree with her. I had seen Annie in love and the way she was acting with that guy was nothing close to her in love.

_I was walking towards Matt's car. Annie was ahead of us, walking with her usual bubbly nature. Edward was leaning against his car waiting for us. He wrapped a hand around Annie's waist, pulling her entire body against his. She placed a hand on his neck. I always wondered what they whispered about. Annie pulled away, grinning madly. I was surprised to see a grin just as big on Edward's face._

_And there was a late summer night when Annie and I came home from work. We were exhausted until Annie stepped into her house, suddenly wide awake. "What's cooking?" Annie squealed. I followed her up the stairs and into the kitchen to see Edward and Matt standing around the stove. "Aw, you cooked." She patted Matt on the shoulder before moving over to Edward._

_I walked over to Matt, letting myself get wrapped in his arms. Annie stood behind Edward wrapping her arms around him. "Taste this," he held out a spoon of sauce. She eagerly closed her mouth around it. Matt rolled his eyes. I knew he didn't like the idea of them being in love, I thought it was hypocritical of us to judge them._

_Annie's face twisted in pain. "What's wrong?" Edward put the spoon down and watched her. _

"_It's good, but still really hot." She laughed fanning her hands in front of her mouth. He wrapped her in his arms, laughing with her. She leaned up to kiss him. I assumed his cool lips felt good on her burned ones. They stayed close, not speaking. I assumed they didn't have to, her mind was an open book to him._

_I spent the night at the Cullen house a few times during the summer, and I always woke up earlier than Annie. I would sit in the kitchen while everyone else went on with their activities and I ate breakfast. Annie walked in half dead, putting two pop tarts in the toaster while rubbing her face to wake herself up. It was weird seeing her so lazily dressed in flannel shorts and a long sleeve shirt, and her hair pulled up in a ponytail at the top of her head. She walked over to Edward, giving him a light peck on the lips and I would hear him mumble 'Morning' to her as he let her slip into his lap as he read whatever book interested him at the time._

That was Annie in love. Every little gesture her and Edward shared was so subtle, but meant so much. She was never forced or fake with him. There were times when they just looked at each other and I'd have to look away, but I stared at her now unbelievingly. She was just trying to distract herself I was sure. She would never go out with a guy like that. I just wanted her to be happy, and I supposed she was trying to be.

That night I lay awake in my room, my thoughts roaming wild. I needed something to change. I couldn't keep living like this. I wanted something to get out of bed for. I needed to talk to Annie. She was my best friend and she's done so much for me in the past I felt like I was deserting her when she needed me.

_I was sitting in Carlisle's car, watching everyone move around me. I knew tears were beginning to form in my eyes, but I just wasn't ready for them to fall yet. Annie was standing with Edward next to the Volvo. Matt moved around, grabbing her arm. _

"_Annie, go with Bella. It will make everything easier." I saw Annie's eyes move back to Edward. She wiggled out of her brother's arms, standing between them._

"_He's not coming after her, Matt. It would be safer if she went with me. I can keep her safe until this is over." Edward told him as he moved closer to Annie. _

"_We need you with us. If James finds her scent he'll go after her too. It would just make things easier if she went with Alice." Matt stepped closer, obviously trying to take charge of the situation. I had never seen him and Edward disagree on anything they were always on the same side. _

"_He's not hunting her, but if she's with Bella he'll kill Annie too." _

"_This isn't about you." Rosalie chimed in. I noticed that she always stepped in when it came to Annie._

"_Neither do you, Rose." Edward told her. I saw Annie move to the side, getting out of the way. Jasper came to stand behind her. I saw her expression go from worried to resign in seconds. She glanced at me before moving back into the fight._

"_Stop," Annie yelled. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her. "I'm going with Jasper and Alice." Matt and Rosalie shared a smug smile. "Not for either of you." She told them looking at her once more. "For Bella, I want to be with her. It's going to be hard enough without having at least one person she can really trust." Annie moved to Edward who had hung his head at her decision. "Jazz, will keep me safe. They need you here." She leaned up to kiss him, wringing her hands through his hair, pulling him closer to her._

_In the hotel I noticed how Annie stayed close to Jasper. She sat on the couch with him, picking at the fruit she'd gotten from room service. She was so calm and relaxed, the complete opposite of how I felt. I supposed that it was Jasper that was helping her with that, just like he'd done in the garage. I wondered how much she relied on him to keep her emotions in check. I knew she had to be just as worried as I was. _

_Waking up in the hospital I saw Matt's face first, then I searched for Annie, suddenly afraid she wasn't as lucky as me. I didn't want her to follow me to the ballet studio, but she had anyway._

"_She's over there," Matt whispered to me, noticing my search. My eyes fell on her in the hall. She was wrapped in Edward's arms, her bandaged wrist pressed against his neck, his cool skin helping the pain I supposed. She wore a thin yellow tank top, the one that had been under her blouse, which I assumed was covered in both hers and my blood. Her skin was darker than I'd ever seen it, except for her shoulder, a patch of pale skin was noticeable. Jasper walked passes, draping a jacket over her shoulders._

"_Told you he'd take care of me," Annie said with a smile as she leaned up to kiss Edward, more passionately than I'd seen them before._

I tossed in my bed I these memories came back. That part of my life was so hard to think about, but in the darkness of my room I felt safe enough to look back on them. I wondered if Annie though about those times too. A part of me hoped she missed them, but her actions didn't seem to show any sign of sadness. I was going to spend more time with her, and tomorrow was going to be a new beginning.


	6. Chapter 6

**What I Want**

I watch everything fly by me in a blur. A water color painting, nothing seems real anymore. I'm worried I've become what I tried so hard not to. Bella is at La Push all the time now. In the last month or so it's like everything I had figured out turned upside down on me.

First Bella brought those bikes out here. She nearly killed herself learning how to ride them. I thought I was acting out, but she took it to a whole new extreme. I just nodded and let her and Jacob go on with it. Every fiber of my being told me to stop her, to take care of her like Matt would have wanted me too. I guess one of the reasons I didn't stop her was in spite of him. The stupid brother that abandoned me without a goodbye, I owed him nothing. Bella could do whatever she wanted. I just wished she'd do something a little safer.

Jacob was my next big hurtle. To no one's surprise he phased just like he was predicted to. I took my leave, staying at Bella's house for a few days. It took all my will power not to tell her what was really going on with Jake. He ended up telling her anyway.

Which is where I am now, living among the werewolves just as I did the vampires. I stay to the back, keeping a good distance, because in the back of my mind I can here Carlisle warning me to be careful like he did whenever I went to a La Push party. Bella didn't notice my discomfort, but she was happy enough for the both of us.

Tonight the full moon was out, and the bonfire was keeping me and Bella warm as we hung out with the wolves. She was talking with Jake probably planning another motorcycle lesson, and as hard as I tried to avoid everyone, Paul came around, pulling me into him.

"Paul, what are you doing?" I asked looking up at him as best I could.

"Don't fight it, Annie." He pulled me closer to him, leaving no distance between us. I let him with no resistance.

I was done fighting, for anything. Paul could have me, Travis could have me. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. We danced, slower than the music, closer than needed. He slipped my jacket off, warming me with his body instead. I didn't mind. I caught Bella's eyes looking at me with disappointment, I looked away quickly.

Paul kissed me, pulling way to check my reaction. I was indifferent, which was an okay to him. He kissed me again, and I responded, closing my eyes he moved from my lips to my neck. He stopped at my shoulder, we shared a glance, and then he softly bit my scar. I cringed. He thought I liked it, like I wanted to be bit.

I pulled away picking up my jacket and leaving. Bella followed, but I didn't stop running until I was safe in Billy's house. I slammed the bathroom door hiding in the shower under a downpour of icy water. Bella sat across from me on the floor. She didn't speak, just watched. I appreciated her for that.

The next morning everyone was gathering at Sam's house to discuss the latest on the Victoria issue. I barely listened, but what I heard made my stomach cringe. I knew they were protecting us, and everyone on the reservation. I knew it was nothing personal, but just the way they were brought up. But with every 'leech' or 'bloodsucker' I got angrier. I couldn't take it anymore. I stormed out, letting them think what they wanted.

"Annie, wait." Bella's voice called after me. I was already yards from the house. Sam was standing behind her. I turned, looking at them with wide eyes.

"I can't do it anymore. I can't sit in there and pretend like they're not out there somewhere. Living like this was never part of my plan."

"Annie," Billy's soothing voice made me close my eyes tight. He knew it all, the whole story, start to finish. He knew what was going through my head more than anyone else around me. "Give us a minute." He told Sam, and he let Bella into the house before following her.

"They are all I can think about. I tried hiding it, but I miss them too much. I feel like I'm betraying them in there. Why can't things just be simple and normal?"

"Don't hide it, Annie." Billy told me. "With them gone you feel sicker, and weaker, but you have to fight just as hard as you did when they were around. For yourself, try to be strong. Let your emotions out, no one will judge you, I promise."

I nodded, turning to leave again. Walking along the beach, gave me enough room to think. I thought of Travis, Paul, and Edward. Three different options and not a single one that was better than the other. I didn't know what I wanted. There was a time I knew exactly where I'd be, but that was a long time ago. These last few months have helped me see things for what they are really worth. People I used to believe in, places I thought I'd be forever, all of that had changed. And if letting everything out like Billy had suggested than I would at least try it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Doctor's Note**

I sat on a small wooden bench in a quiet waiting room, watching as people moved around me. Nurses that once sat and talked with me now avoided me all together. I shifted uncomfortably, tugging at my jacket. A little girl sat across from me sitting close to her father. The dad gave me a small smile, I returned it weakly.

"Ms. Masen, Dr. Richards is ready for you." A nurse called to me. She waited for me, placing a light hand on my back leading me into the office. My eyes settled on a door down the hall. That was the office I usually occupied on my visits.

"Ms. Mas…"

"Annie, please." I corrected Dr. Richards. He was my new doctor, fresh from some Oregon hospital.

"Annie, it's nice to finally meet you." I nodded, smiling back at him. He seemed nice, friendly even. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm okay,"

"How've you been sleeping?" I brushed my hair out of my face. I knew I must have circles under my eyes. I was becoming a regular insomniac, but I wasn't about to tell him this. It had nothing to do with my condition.

"Good, I guess." I lied. He leaned forward on his desk, looking at me intently. It was like he knew exactly what I was thinking, knew the lies I was telling.

"How are you really doing, Annie?" Dr. Richards got up from behind his desk and came to lean against it in front of me. He wore a pale blue button up shirt that looked a lot like one Carlisle use to wear. I looked down at my icy hands.

"I'm tired all the time. Lately I've been getting nauseous when I eat. I can only eat fruit and some vegetables without wanting to throw up. Sleep hasn't been easy, but I don't think it has anything to do with…" I couldn't go on. I didn't want to tell him about my family. He had to know enough already.

"Annie, have you been keeping up with your medication? The last dosage was prescribed by your father, right?" Dr. Richards glanced back at my file to read over the medication I was on.

"He gave me a larger dose of the same pill. At first it was working, but I think I've grown a tolerance. It was experimental."

"Everything you've been taking has been experimental. Annie, you dad had you on some pretty…"

"Foster dad." I cut him off flinching as he spoke. "Carlisle was my foster parent. He tried a lot of different things to dull the pain or stop the nausea. He was relentless. Dr. Richards, I'm tired of trying new things that work for a little while then stop." I leaned onto my knees.

"Foster father or not, Dr. Cullen loved you. I can't imagine having a child go through what you're going through." He rested a reassuring hand on top of mine. I looked up at him unmoved.

"He loved me enough to leave." He took his hands away, looking at me concerned. "Dr. Richards, I would really appreciate it if we didn't discuss my family life. I'd rather focus on how to prolong this little situation I'm in."

He nodded, moving around his desk again. I watched as he flipped my folder open. It'd gotten thicker since the last time I'd seen it. He pulled out x-rays and some other lab work. "These were taken when?"

"March of last year, I'd broken my wrist and Carlisle thought it would be good to check everything." I sat and watched him look over them. His brow furrowed, I'd seen this expression on Carlisle's face. "It's not much better than the last x-rays."

"No, I don't think they are. Annie, do you know the full extent of your condition?" I stared at him with a puzzled look. I knew I wasn't healthy, but I didn't know exactly what he meant.

"Carlisle didn't want to worry me. He only told me side effects of the medication." I looked at him with confused eyes.

"Annie, even with all the experimental treatments out there, I can't see you lasting more than another year." His voice was soothing, soft even. He didn't want to be the one to tell me this. I subconsciously reached for the silver chain around my neck.

"A year, as in one more Christmas and one more birthday…" I asked pulling out the long chain with a thin silver cross covered in diamonds. Carlisle had given it to me, and I never had to heart to put it away with everything else.

"I'm sorry Annie, but I need you to know this. I don't want you to have this false hope." Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at him, mouth open.

"Dr. Richards, I just don't want the pain to come back. I don't want the weakness again. All I need you to do is keep me comfortable for as long as you can." I sniffed, holding back the sobs that I knew would have fallen from my lips.

"Annie, I'll t" Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at him, mouth open.

"Dr. Richards, I just don't want the pain to come back. I don't want the weakness again. All I need you to do is keep me comfortable for as long as you can." I sniffed, holding back the sobs that I knew would have fallen from my lips.

"Annie, we'll keep you as comfortable as possible. I can give you some new pain medicine, and we can try a new experimental drug to keep your muscles from weakening…" I nodded at this, but I knew that it would only last so long.

I left, walking through the halls slowly. I didn't go back to school, instead heading away from the town. I didn't stop until I was headed down a familiar drive. The trees had grown fuller, scrapping the side of my Jeep. The house hadn't changed. I felt relieved to see it exactly as I'd left it. I stepped out into the light rain and walked up the porch. I pulled out my phone, pressing my speed dial.

"Bells, can we hang out later. I really need to talk to you."

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There it is. Annie's story is finally shaping up nicely. Don't worry the Cullens are very close to coming back...Please Review!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Confessions**

Bella met me at her house after school. She brought my homework, which was something that I hadn't asked her to do. We sat in her kitchen doing homework for hours. She glanced at me and I stared at her, but we didn't speak. I wasn't ready to say anything yet.

"Annie, it's been three hours, are you ever going to tell me what's up?" Bella asked as she closed her history book.

"Want to go for a drive?" We wrapped ourselves up in jackets and gloves. We jumped in my Jeep and headed out.

Bella was asking questions at the beginning of the ride, but I only gave vague answers. After ten minutes she gave up and enjoyed the drive. She stared out the window; the music was the only thing filling the car. Once I turned off the road we were on and heading through a wooded dirt road, Bella stopped staring out the window and stared at me.

"Annie what are we doing here?" I stopped the Jeep and stepped out into the misty field. Bella followed me reluctantly. I walked out to the middle of the field, taking my place on a mound of dirt, Alice's pitching mound.

"It's been almost half a year since they've left. I thought I could handle living without them." Bella stayed near the car, I was practically screaming at her.

"Annie, what are you doing? What's going on?" Bella asked concerned. I looked at her with a small smile on my face. I turned around to take in the baseball field.

"I'm sick, Bells." She looked at me with confusion. "Carlisle was taking care of me, but since he's AWOL, I've got a new doctor. I saw him today, that's where I was during school."

"Annie, you're scaring me?" Bella said, cautiously taking a few steps toward me. "Please tell me what's going on."

"I'm dying."

After that Bella and I had headed home. She didn't want to talk anymore. We were both sleeping in her room, sharing her bed. The darkness was comforting for me. It made me feel as though I could open my eyes and be anywhere.

"Annie?" Bella whispered. We were both lying in the dark pretending to sleep. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I always knew I was going to die young, but I thought it would happen a little later." I stared out the window looking at the trees swaying in the small storm outside.

"Do you want to talk about it, or…them?" Bella's voice sounded unsure, but I let a small smile come over my lips.

"I won't unless you want to hear it. I know it's hard."

"Tell me one thing, how'd you get your scar? The one like mine on your shoulder." I unconsciously leaned and touched the side of my face to the cool skin.

"I was thirteen, and it was snowing outside. Alice was playing with me, hide and seek in the trees. I knew she wasn't really playing fair, but it was still fun. I climbed up a tree too high and fell. Jasper got too me first, but he was still too new at the vegetarian thing. I remember the pain and the stinging sensation. The boys pulled him off and Carlisle sucked the venom out. That's how he knew what to do for you."

"But you're so close to Jasper, that didn't change anything?"

"It actually made us closer. Jasper was never really close to me, until after he came back completely hating himself. I loved him." I ran a finger under my eye, wiping away the few tears that collected. "I broke up with Travis."

"I knew you weren't happy." Bella laughed softly. I nudged her with my elbow.

"If you were so smart why didn't you say anything about it, huh?"

"What are you doing next year?" She asked slowly.

"I don't know how much of a next year I have, but I think college some place sunny, expensive, and prestigious." I laughed a little. "Amazingly enough I applied to a handful of high class schools. You should come with me."

"I haven't applied anywhere yet. I can't decide what I want to do."

"Time's running out, Bells, you have to something. I don't think Charlie wants you freeloading off him forever."

"Are you kidding me, he'd love it if I stayed home with him." We laughed together and finally after hours of silly gossip and after graduation plans, we fell asleep.

Bella was the closest friend I had, I felt like I could tell her anything. Yet, there were so many things I couldn't tell her. I was heartbroken just like her, but instead of suppressing the pain I wanted to walk through it. Rose and Alice, even Esme, would sit with me as I cried over a boyfriend. They talked with me, reassured me. That's all I wanted now. I wanted to be held in Carlisle's arms and let him tell me there was nothing to worry about. Tomorrow was going to be different, I felt it. We would go see Jacob and the pack, stay there all day, but I felt like I should be going something else.


	9. Chapter 9

**Fish Tailing**

Days had passed since Bella and I had spoken about them or my illness. We thought it would be easier to just ignore everything that was unpleasant. I worked more and she visited Jacob more. It was balanced and comfortable. I liked not having to worry about her anymore, she seemed happy with the werewolves, and I was enjoying hanging with my friends again.

I wanted to get my stuff out of Billy's house, but I'd decided against it. Sometimes I liked to stay there instead of at Bella's. There was more privacy there than sharing a room with Bella. Charlie had warmed up to me a lot more though, he had insisted on me staying with them, but I refused politely.

There have been doctor visits, graduation plans, and other simple things that kept me busy. I had come to grips that I was going to be celebrating graduation with Bella and that's it. Billy said he'd attend but it wouldn't be the same. I really wanted my family there, because anyone else just wouldn't be the same.

I took my time heading back to Billy's. The weather was getting bad, but I didn't want to spend too much time around La Push. I drove by the old house, this time getting out and actually stepping inside for a little. It didn't feel the same. The furniture seemed old and the rooms were too big. Leaving was becoming harder though. The few times I'd stopped there since that first day had been weird, now I didn't want to leave. A part of me thought that if I stayed, waiting in the living room, they would show up eventually.

The rain was coming down harder now. I sped up a little, trying to get home quicker.

The rhythmic padding of the rain, the swooshing of the windshield wipers put me in a trance. I turned up the radio, but the song was familiar. It was our song.

"_Oh my god, I love this song!" I squealed and turned the volume knob higher. Edward laughed next to me. I smiled back at him as I began to sing along. I moved closer to him kissing his cheek between lines. _

"_Annie, come on." He pulled away laughing. I moved back into my seat, still quietly singing along. It was dark outside, and I watched the shadows pass quickly. His cold hand grasped mine tightly. I turned to happy to see a playful smile on his face. "I love you," he said quietly. _

_I leaned over kissing him on the lips quickly. "I know"._

I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to get the image out of my mind. Opening them quickly, I pulled off the road and slammed on the brakes. I shut the radio off and stepped out of the car. The railing was short, but I leaned on it all the same. Peering over the edge, I noticed the short drop off, a part of me wanted to jump, but a stronger part knew that would fix nothing. Instead I took another route. As I leaned over I let out a loud scream, one I hoped they would hear wherever they were.

"_What do you think?" Edward asked as I leaned over one of the large branches. The ground was miles down, but the atmosphere was amazing. I could probably see all of Forks from this high up in the trees._

"_It's amazing," I told him, as I moved around the limbs climbing higher. He followed me closely making sure I wouldn't fall. _

"_I'm glad you like it." He whispered behind me. I turned to face him, as outrageous as this moment was it felt perfectly normal for us. I never wanted it to end. I climbed up a little higher and leaned down over the branch. I let out a deep scream, something that just washed everything out of me. It made me feel refreshed and empty in a good way. _

_I turned back to Edward, a concerned look on his face, I smiled big at him. There were so many things I couldn't say, yet he knew. I was an open book to him. He wrapped an arm around me, and I got as close to him as I could._

My throat was soar, but I felt better. I looked up into the gray sky, blinking as the water hit my eyes. With everything out of my system, I felt relieved. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I got back into my Jeep soaking wet. The rest of the drive was easier, the radio seemed to adjust better to my mood, playing a more upbeat range of music.

I was only a few minutes from La Push when the tires started fighting against the water on the road. I pressed on the brakes hoping the decrease in speed would help, but it only seemed to make the situation worse. The tires began to spin all on their own, I had not control anymore. The car slid and I waited for it to crash. I knew it would hit something thing, that would probably be the only way to stop it. A tree, another car, the guard rail, they were all possibilities.

The side of the Jeep collided with the guardrail hard. I was jerked to the side, and my head hit the window hard causing it to crack. Everything around me b began to get fuzzy and I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness. The last thing I saw clearly was the large tree trunk.

"I just don't understand, Annie?" Charlie's voice rang through the emergency room. I tried not to focus on the other people around me, but I also didn't look at him. I was too embarrassed.

He was there when the ambulance came to take me here. At first I thought he was just worried I was worse than I looked, but slowly his anger seeped through as the doctor's checked me over. The nurses I knew stayed away, and even doctors that had once treated me or worked with Carlisle stayed away. Dr. Richards came by, but said I was okay, at least for his standards. My arm was scraped up, my wrist was sprained and there was a big cut on my head, but they had no affect other than shear pain and some embarrassment.

"Ms. Masen, we're waiting on some more testes to come back, and then you're free to leave." I smiled up at the nurse as she walked away from the bed I was sitting on. Charlie stepped into my view and there was no way of getting around him now.

"Annie what were you doing tonight?" He asked for the thousandth time. I knew what he must have been thinking, suicide or something along those lines. Half the people here must have been thinking it.

"Charlie, it's not what you think. I was just going too fast and the rain picked up, I'm sorry." Charlie stood there in front of me. I wanted to reassure him, but I didn't know how. What could I say that made everything okay?

"You can go now, Annie. Try to drive safer." I hopped off the bed at the nurse's approval. Charlie led me out into the hall where I assumed he'd really let me have the 'stop being a stupid teenager' speech.

"Now you want to tell me what really happened, or are you going to stick with your story? Annie, come on, talk to me." Charlie's voice faded out behind me. I stared down the hall in front of me, the second door on the left. "Annie, are you listening to me?"

"I was leaving our house, but I didn't want to go to Billy's. I didn't think I was driving that fast. Charlie, I wasn't trying to hurt myself or anyone else. Lately, I just miss them more." I slowly turned to face him. He wasn't a fan of my brother, but I knew he liked my parents enough.

"Come on, I'll take you to Billy's." He put an arm around my shoulder and led me out of the hospital. We took his cruiser, which I felt safer in than I ever thought I would. The rain was still coming down hard, and I caught myself flinching with the slightest jerk of the wheel. Charlie watched me out of the corner of his eye, but I kept my eyes clued outside the window.

Billy waved as Charlie left. They had a private conversation, where I sat on the porch while they discussed what had happened. Billy seemed cool about it, at least at first. It wasn't until Charlie was in his cruiser that I saw his expression go from slight worry to almost blind fury.

"You need to stop going there." Billy's voice boomed. He was upset, but waited for Charlie's absence to really voice his true opinion. This particular one especially, "It's not healthy."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly little miss sunshine. My family's gone, and I'm getting sicker every day. What exactly do you expect from me?" I sat in a chair next to him. My eyes pleading with him, but he didn't change his expression. "Billy, I'm not okay. I probably never have been. I always thought that I'd never have to think about the future, but that's what's staring me in the face. And I can't bring myself to plan anything after my nineteenth birthday. How is that healthy?"

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I stared at him for what felt like hours. He didn't say anything, didn't move. All I wanted was someone to understand what was going on, but it seemed I would have to keep looking. Finally, as I dropped my head he turned around and headed for his room, slowly. I watched as his wheel chair turned the corner. I rubbed the water out of my eyes and headed for my room.

That night I stayed awake, partially due to the threat of a concussion but mostly because I just wanted to see them again. I took the box out, the one with everything that reminded me of them in it, and I went through it all. Seeing everyone together again brought back memories and feelings that I thought I would never have again. I missed my dad, his strong arms wrapping around me when I was hurt, and my mother's soothing voice. I just wanted to sleep in my own bed, in my own house, with them surrounding me.

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Tell me what you thought. Please I need some reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

I want to thank everyone that left me reviews!! They're much appriciated...and here's the next installment!**

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**The Arrival**

Curled up on Leah's sofa, I stared blankly at the television. She came out of her bathroom seconds after leaving me, her eyes puffy and a box of tissues in hand, but that was all the time my mind needed to wonder. All she did was pass me the bag of cookies and turn up the volume. She knew what it was like to lose someone you love, and she knew forgetting was the hardest part. So we sat, both of us quietly suffering from broken hearts, and me from a re-broken wrist. The movie was white noise as we passed packets of junk food between us.

Her house was quiet as an eerie silence fell over it. Her mother was out, Seth with her. I came over to see how Leah was doing, after losing her father I assumed she was probably worse off than I was. At least I knew mine was somewhere alive, but hers was never coming back. It was something I'd never really had to deal with before. Death was something that didn't weigh too heavily on my life.

The afternoon dragged on, and without my car there was really nothing for me to do, no way of escaping. "We're going to gain fifty pounds if we keep this up." Leah voiced quietly, turning to give me a small, sad smile her eyes pink but dry.

"Only fifty," I laughed slightly. We began cleaning up our mess, returning what was left to the kitchen.

"It won't get easier." She said from behind me. Neither of us turned to look at the other, because it was easier that way. No need to look at a mirrored image of your own heartbroken pain.

"Sadly, I can't argue with that." I pulled my jacket off the back of a chair and slid it on slowly. "I'll see you later. Thanks for the food." I said running a hand down her arm as I walked passed. I heard her sob slightly as I reached to door.

Looking at Leah, I hoped that I didn't look as hurt as her. Physically she was strong and healthy, but I could see in her eyes and her manner, that she was hurting inside. She was crying more, due to her father's death, but she'd always been sad to me. She lost Sam first, and had never really recovered from that. Losing her dad now was just reopening those unhealed wounds. I didn't want to be that way, but I knew I was getting close. Even Bella was improving more than I was. My regression into a heartbroken teenager was nothing I was proud of. I would have preferred to stay distant and pretend everything was okay, but that just seemed too hard and unhealthy. Both of which were no something I wanted to be.

As I walked back to Billy's house I noticed the darkening of the sky. The rain would probably start soon, and I realized that for the first time the weather was welcome. The dreariness was suiting for the mood I had been in.

As I came closer to the house I noticed Bella's truck parked outside, I shouldn't have been surprised to see her here. She had been inseparable from Jacob for weeks. I walked inside expecting to hear them talking incessantly about something that didn't concern me, but instead the television was on at a very low volume and Bella was lying on the couch in soaked clothes.

"What happened?" I asked walking over to them. Bella stirred, causing Jacob to give me an annoyed look. I returned it more harshly, waiting impatiently for an answer to my question.

"It was nothing, she just…" He trailed off watching Bella sit up. My gaze went from him to her, still no one spoke.

"Bella what happened?" She gave me a weak smile.

"I tried cliff diving. I'm not so good at it." I stared at her expressionless. Her eyes seemed to beg for understanding, forgiveness even. I didn't know what to say, what to do.

"I'll take you home." Jacob said, getting off the couch. Bella nodded following his actions.

"I'm coming too." I said as I followed them out the door and into Bella's truck.

The drive was long, mostly due to the fact that the truck wouldn't go over forty miles per hour. Bella was between me and Jacob, staring straight ahead. I focused out my window, waiting to see the familiar street. As Jacob turned down the street I noticed something different, something that made my heart nearly stop. Bella must have seen it too, because she leaned forward to get a better look. "Oh my God," I whispered, but instead of stopping Jacob, sped up moving quickly down the street.

"No, Jacob what are you doing?" I practically screamed as I saw him pass the sleek black Mercedes. Bella didn't say a word, only stared out the window her eyes trained on the car. "Take us back."

"There's a bloodsucker in there, are you crazy. It could be Victoria." He said not slowly down. In all the months I'd been staying with the Blacks not once did I ever feel so angry with Jacob. He was keeping me away from what I'd dreamed about, my family.

"It's them, Jacob." Bella said turning to him quickly, pleading with him. She wanted to see them almost as badly as I did. I hoped that if Jacob loved Bella as much as he did, he would do this one thing for her.

"Please Jacob. It's my dad's car. I would know it anywhere. Please just take us back." He pressed the brake, slowly at first then applied more pressure. I stared out the side mirror to look at the Mercedes down the street. We'd come to a full stop, and I so badly wanted to jump out here and run back to the house. My dad was waiting for me, he came back for me I knew it.

The next thing I knew, Bella was driving us back down the street. I didn't even notice the exchange between the two, but obviously it didn't go all that well. She gripped the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles white. We were both nervous, which was to be expected. As much as we knew it had to be Carlisle's car, there was still a flicker of doubt. There was no way of knowing a hundred percent until we were inside the house.

We took our time walking up the front steps, Bella opened the door slowly. We stepped into the dark hall carefully. My heart was pounding, and I wanted to run through the house until I was safe in my father's arms again. Bella groped the wall beside her, feeling for the light switch. The person in front of us was unexpected, but still a joy to see.

My sister's black eyes stared back at us. Her small frame filling such a bug gap inside me, I walked up to her wrapping my arms around her. She returned the gesture, a little more cautiously than I would have liked, but I understood. After a moment I let go, giving Bella a chance to say her hellos as well.

"It's just you?" I asked, with a little more sadness than I'd meant to. Alice looked at me, her face understanding.

"Yeah, it's just me." She said as we made our way into the living room. That's when she told us everything, and made Bella explain her story as well. The cliff diving had been more explicit that she'd let on. I sat silent as the two exchanged conversation. A voice inside of me was screaming with joy, and another was weeping, because the voice could tell that this wasn't going to last. Alice coming alone meant one of three things: a) she was able to get here faster than everyone else b) she was the only one that wanted to come back, or c) she was alone because she shouldn't be here in the first place.

I knew my brother well, and he wouldn't have changed his mind on something like this. He wanted Bella left alone, which meant that none of them could come see her, or me for that matter. I hated it, but that was the way it was. She told us that everyone had reunited over spring break. I wanted so badly for her to take me to them, but if she did I knew I wouldn't come back. Losing them once was hard enough, leaving them again would kill me.


	11. Chapter 11

This is it...what you've been waiting for has finally come!!! Enjoy**

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**Viva Italia**

"You're hair is different." Alice pointed out as we sat outside Bella's house. Jacob had come over, and Alice decided to give the two some privacy. I went with, wanting to catch up with my sorely missed sister. "Rosalie would love the blonde." We both giggled at this, I smiled at the sound of her bell like laugh. I hadn't realized how much I missed the little things such as her laugh.

"I needed something new. A pixie cut wouldn't have matched my facial structure as well as the blonde does." I told her nudging her lightly with my arm. She threw her arms around me, holding me just tight enough to her.

"Oh, we've missed you so much. Everyone thought it was a stupid idea to leave you, but it just seemed like the best thing to do. Carlisle and Esme wanted to come back and get you, but didn't have the heart to take you away when you were so close to graduating. And Jasper felt awful about leaving without saying anything, but I told him you would understand. Please don't be mad at him."

"I'm not mad, least of all with him. I'm more lonely than anything else." She pressed her cool lips to my temple, still holding me to her. I forgot how comforting it felt to be in their solid arms.

"I saw the crash." She said quietly, I almost didn't hear her. "At first I didn't know what to think of it, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt. God, you scare us so much sometimes. You're so fragile." She ran her fingers delicately over my wrapped wrist.

"It was an accident. They tend to happen." I said glancing down at my wrist.

"Only when we're not around it looks like." I smiled at my sister sweetly.

The moment was too good to last. One minute I was sitting with Alice without a care in the world and then the next all three of us were speeding towards the airport. Nothing sank in until the plane was over a vast amount of water, and I looked around to see everyone relaxed with their seats reclined and little bottles of liquor. Curling up in my seat, I wished I could be like them, taking a nice spring break vacation to Italy. Bella was next to me, probably more anxious and freaking out more than I was. Alice was murmuring behind us, filling the family in on everything that was happening.

My mind was in a million different places, everything was coming from under my feet. I thought I was starting to make progress without them, but again Matt had to step in and stir the pot. I was tail spinning, everything was a blur around me.

Bella and I sat together in the front seat of the yellow Porsche she acquired. The traffic was slow and as I stared out of the window I couldn't force my mind to stay focused on where we were or what we were supposed to be doing.

"Annie, please I need you to focus." Alice snapped at me. "You're jumping all over the place. Focus! Noon, shining sun, two suicidal vampires, Matt and Edward." She snapped at me, causing both me and Bella to turn to her.

"Right, focus," I said, taking in some deep breaths. Focusing on what I would lose if I didn't get my mind together. I let my mind peal back, all the layers left leaving me with image: my family. Matt and Edward were at risk here, and it was our turn to save them.

We came to the tall gates to the city where the cars came to a standstill. Alice pulled up as much as she could, but we all knew that time was running out. My chest got tight at the thought, but I wanted to stay optimistic. As we got to the entrance, Bella and I knew that it was up to us.

"Whatever you do, do it quick. And don't get hurt." Alice called out the door as Bella and I slid out of the front seat. We began running together, but the crowd was dense as people swarmed together. The entire population of Italy seemed to be packed in the tiny square. I crashed into people every few seconds, but I pushed ahead moving to where I knew they would be.

The sun was beating down on us as we ran through the crowded street. One minute Bella was at my side the next she was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was better that we split up, making it easier to maneuver around the groups of people. All I could think about was the giant clock, ticking away the seconds I had to get to my idiotic brother and his foolish partner in crime.

Weaving around a fountain, I heard a splash behind me. I didn't turn back, but hoped that is was Bella only seconds behind me. I skidded to a stop in front of them. Bella came crashing into Matt, the sight made my heart skip. She still loved him without fail, even after everything he'd put her through.

I turned and saw Edward staring at me, surprise and disbelief on his face. Moving closer to him, I let all of my frustration and anger fall away. I suddenly knew what Bella must have felt, even with everything he'd done or was about to do, I still loved him. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him as much as I could towards me. His arms engulfed me in seconds.

"I can't believe how insane you are." I whispered to him, eliciting a small chuckle from him.

"I thought you knew that already." He whispered against my ear, his lips lightly brushing the side of my cheek.

I thought it was over. We could go home and everything would just go back to normal. But like everything else, I was wrong. The five of us stood there ready to leave when they showed up. The Volturi's guard came from nowhere and quickly ushered us out of the gleaming afternoon sun and into the darkness. Edward held me close to his body, practically pulling me along with him due to the lack of light in the underground passage. A heavy weight fell on my chest as I thought about what this could mean. This was trouble.

For the first time I glanced over at Matt, our eyes connecting for the briefest of moments. With these few seconds I felt me enter my mind, using his talent on me. Barely able to see him, but knowing he would still hear me, I cleared my mind, only allowing the few choice words in.

'If we die, know I blame you.'


	12. Chapter 12

**The Offer**

"Annie, my dear, won't you come and say hello to such a dear friend of your father's." Aro outstretched his hand, waiting for me to take it. I looked around at the crimson eyes staring at me. The room was large, and I'd never been more afraid of anything in my life. Bella and I were surrounded by vampires, which for the first time in my life wasn't comforting.

My heart was pounding my chest as I stared at Aro's pale hand. His curious gaze was focused solely on me. As afraid as I was, his gaze pulled at me. Edward's grip on me tightened as he heard my thoughts turning to Aro's outstretched hand, but I managed to pull away. I wasn't too afraid of what I was doing. I didn't expect Aro to kill me on the spot.

"Annie," I heard Matt say, but silenced himself quickly after a shared glance with Edward. They were both nervous, but I didn't let it faze me.

"You're going to be beautiful, child." He whispered as I took his practically translucent hand in mine, and with the other he brushed back the hair in my face. His hand had to have been the coldest I'd ever touched. I stared up at him, waiting to hear what else he had to say. "When you turn, you'll fit beautifully here with us. I can see it now. This will be the perfect home for you."

"I have a home, a family." I told him, glancing quickly over my shoulder. "I'll stay with them."

"Will you?" He asked, also staring at the others behind me. "He'll leave you again, you know. I can see it, every time he's left you behind. Annie, do you really expect him to keep you forever. Here you will never feel lonely, and you will never have to worry about being unloved. I'm telling you, my dear, this is where you belong."

"How could you possibly know I'd fit in here?" I asked him, skeptically.

"Because I can see how beautiful you are now, as a mere human, but I know that will amplify when you're immortal, and eternally young and gracefully. My dear, you'll be a goddess. Think of what you could accomplish with such beauty. The talent you will possess would give you a permanent seat here with us."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. Everything he said sounded oddly perfect, yet completely horrifying all the same. If he was right that meant that I could potentially end up here. I would be part of the Volturi, and that thought scared me and excited me. To be considered meant that I was going to be talented.

Aro kissed the top of my hand before letting it drop. I walked slowly back to my place next to Edward. He didn't look at me instead glared strongly at Aro. His grip tightened around me, holding me closely to him.

"Ah, Mathew, I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting…" Aro began, waiting for Matt to meet him. Their conversation went along that same lines as Edward's had, although Matt's comments were a little more curt than Edward's had been. I supposed it was due to the fact that Matt was still young and didn't have his emotions as checked as Edward did.

I stared wide eyed as Jane showed off, trying to test her electric talent on Bella. Matt withered, and I turned into Edward to hide this from my view. It almost didn't seem fair. They were under such scrutiny, because Bella was gifted, her mind being impenetrable. Edward and I seemed to be free to leave if we liked, so long as we didn't disturb anyone. Aro had a soft spot for the both of us it seemed. Alice stood in a middle ground, which she seemed to disappear in. Matt and Bella, though, were the center of attention.

I stayed with my face buried in Edward's chest, letting everything Aro had said to me fill every crevice in my mind. His words were all I could think about. The more I thought, the more frightened I became. It wasn't until I felt Edward pulling me along that I knew we were all allowed to leave. He held me tightly to him, I lifted my head to see where we were going, but he gently pressed the back of my head forcing my cheek into his nook of his shoulder.

"Don't look," he whispered. I stared up at him with confused eyes, but did as he said. When we stopped moving though, I took the opportunity to glance behind us. I saw a beautiful girl ushering a pack of tourists through the doors we'd just exited. This must have been the lunch they'd been waiting on. I watched awestruck as the woman with the most intense violet eyes close the doors slower than I thought physically possible, her gaze falling on me with a crooked smile on her perfect lips and an arched eyebrow.

I couldn't help but wonder if that was the beauty Aro was talking about. I could be the next to round up unsuspecting people and lead them to a most horrible death. Edward's hand ran up my arm, pulling me towards him. He was sitting now, across from the bench Bella and Matt occupied. The two looked somewhat happy. At least she did anyway. I wondered how much longer it would last.

"Stop," Edward commanded, as he pulled me down onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck looking down into his dark eyes. But it only lasted a moment. I was searching for Alice the next, finally stopping when I saw her in a corner, mumbling incoherently into her cell phone. I knew it must have been Jasper on the other end, and I couldn't help the urge to go and ask to speak to him too.

"Please, give me two seconds of your attention." Edward asked, running his hand up my arms. I scanned the room once more, looking from Alice to Matt and Bella, to the receptionist, before resting my eyes on him. I let my fingers run up into his hair, my fingers overlapping as they tangled in his copper locks.

"One…two…" I said as I leaned down to kiss him lightly. Pulling away with a smile, I really looked at his for the first time since I'd arrived. "I missed you," I said honestly leaning into him, letting him hold me close to him. I didn't want him to let go, a part of me was afraid that if he did he'd disappear again. I couldn't stand the thought of losing anyone again.

"Calm down, I'm not going anywhere." He whispered to me. My thoughts must have been driving him crazy. It had been months since I had hid them. Usually masking them, or diluting them with a constant song running in my mind or going over lists of what needed to be done. I had let my mind free, and now I couldn't control what I was thinking.

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Don't forget to review!!!! Thanks....


	13. Chapter 13

**Blow Up**

The airport seemed familiar, and finally I felt like relief rush over me. I glanced over at Bella, amazed she was still walking on her own. She stayed up all through the flight talking with Matt. I'd chosen to sleep, held firmly in Edward's arms. Edward might have wanted to talk, but there was nothing I could say to him then.

Alice ran to Jasper as soon as she saw him. I was a little jealous, not realizing I missed him more than anyone. That was until I saw my father. I wiggled out of Edward's grasp and ran right into Carlisle's waiting arms.

"Daddy," I whispered as he wrapped me into his chest. One arm held me tightly into his chest the other ran over my hair, smoothing it out on my neck.

Esme helped Matt carry Bella to the cars. I stayed with my dad, glad to finally be home. The car ride was quick, and when I saw the familiar house at the end of road I knew that I was home for good this time. I'd decided that I wasn't going to let them push me away again, no matter what the danger.

We walked into the house quietly. I let everyone else walk in before me, making sure that no one decided to leave again. My dad kept an arm wrapped around me, guiding me through the door. This felt like home. Everyone was back and the house just felt full again.

Exhaustion took over me as I saw the stairs that ultimately led up to my room, where my bed had been waiting for me. All the others had dispersed into various parts of the house, probably cleaning the dust and rearranging things. But I felt him following me.

Edward put a hand on the small of my back as he quickly caught up with me. I stopped with one foot on the step ahead of me. A rush of anger, frustration, and pain shot through me. I wanted to scream 'stay away from me'. But he must have understood, because he backed away a little before I turned around.

"Annie, please understand that it wasn't about you." His words sounded like honey to my ears. They were exactly what I'd been waiting to hear, but it was too little too late.

"Please, don't say that." I said quietly, turning to face him.

"Annie, I'm here now," He said, stepping closer to me again. I took a step up, keeping distance between us. I noticed the room below us filling up.

"You're here now because Alice, Bella and I had to go and save your ass. I understand that you weren't thinking about me, that Matt was hurting and you wanted to be there for him. Edward, you leave over and over. When's the next time, graduation, sooner?" He stepped down, off the stairs. I kept my composure as much as I could without sleep for three days.

"You ruined my life. You pushed me away, always wanting something else for me. I was pushed into this world of normalcy, and I didn't belong. I didn't want to belong. You told me to go and get what I could out of life, and I did…for you. I dated these boys, amazingly sweet, fun and caring, soft, _warm_ boys. And instead of letting them get tired of me, or worse, fall in love with me, I pushed them away. Something I know I learned from you." I stepped down, moving in on him. I was finally saying things that I'd wanted to for years. I needed him to know what he'd done to me. I wanted everyone to know that I was going to do what I wanted with my life, because it was mine and no one else's. "All I wanted was to be yours. I wanted you to love me, the way a girl should be loved. Not onlywhen it was convenient for you."

I knew I was being harsh. I could see the hurt in his black eyes, but he needed to know. I backed away, staring at him and then at the rest of them that had assembled around us. There were so many other things that needed to be said. All of them had hurt me. They all left, all without a goodbye, and a part of me wasn't ready to forgive them just yet. I was about to turn back around when I heard the door open. Matt walked in silently. Seeing him, I lost it.

"This is all, your fault. You told me everything was okay. These months have been a nightmare. Did you even think about that? Did your little sister ever cross your mind as you came up with this brilliant plan to keep the love of your life alive? You took my family away from me, you destroyed my best friend, and now everything's just falling back into place." As I spoke I took steps toward him. I wanted him to hear every word I was saying and thinking. I wanted him to know exactly how much he'd hurt me.

"Annie…" Alice spoke up, taking a step towards me with an outstretched hand. I didn't even look at her, my eyes trained on Matt.

"Why are you so selfish?" I was moving almost face to face with Matt when Jasper caught me around the waist, keeping me from moving forward. "Since she came into our lives, it's always about what's best for her and you. What about the rest of us? This is _our_ family, Matt." We stared at each other silently. I wanted to hear an apology, something to show that he cared more than he did, but it never came.

"Annie, come on. I'll take you upstairs, you're tired." I turned in his arms, looking up at him sadly. He lifted me in his arms easily, and carried me up the stairs. The first time in five years he used his talent on me. Jasper never tried to change my mood, but this time I loved him for it, because he was sorry. I knew he was by the way he held me softly in his arms, soothing me the way a brother would for his little sister.


	14. Chapter 14

**Change of Heart**

I stood in front of the mirror on my closet door. My hair was down and messy from the lack of care I had taken the last two days, the blonde was beginning to fade, and the layers were growing longer as the curls came back. I stared at my plain face covered in messy make up. I wore faded jeans and a t-shirt from the last day I was home. I didn't see anything special, but supposedly something was there.

Edward walked in cautiously. He was probably waiting for me to yell at him again, but I wouldn't. He was here now, and that was really all that mattered when everything was said and done. I let him step beside me, looking at my reflection rather than me. I wondered if he was looking for the same thing I was.

"He's wrong, you know." I glanced at his half reflected self next to mine. He was just as perfect as I remembered.

"I can still hear everything he said ringing in my ears. It won't stop. What if he's right?" I asked turning to face him, my eyes pleading for him to say something reassuring. But his expression was just as worried as mine was.

"I won't let him. You will always be with me, know that." I shook my head at this, walking away from him and towards the large glass balcony doors. He followed at a distance.

"I don't want to hear that. Don't tell me things like that, because they mean nothing to me. I'm sick of blindly trusting you. Give me proof that you want to be with me, that you'll stay with me forever." I turned to face him waiting for something to happen that I knew would never come.

I watched for a minute, but nothing happened. This I expected, turning back to the window and my reflection. I'd changed my mind in that instant. He probably knew it, Alice probably knew it, but I wasn't going to say it. It would hurt too many people.

"Annie, think about this," He said as I felt him wrap his arms protectively around me. "I won't let them take you. You never have to do anything you don't want to." I lifted my hand to rest it on the arm he had wrapped around my chest. "I love you so much, and I'd do anything to prove that to you."

He turned me around in his arms. The action was quick and unexpected, which he rarely did that to me. We faced each other, waiting for something to happen. My heart kicked up a beat as he took his right hand, and grasped my left tightly. "Marry me."

It wasn't a question, or a command. He was simply giving me an option. I could continue on this path I was on the one that would come to an abrupt halt in too few of months, I could leave and go to college pretending to be normal for a little while, or I could marry him. These thoughts raced through my mind and my heart continued to accelerate. This was a moment that I thought was never going to happen. It was too normal for us.

"You could have it all," he whispered, answering my thoughts. I looked up at him, into his black eyes and it silenced every thought I had at the time.

I didn't give him an answer, mostly because I didn't have one. I leaned up and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my back, and I felt him lightly lift me off the ground. It wasn't our normal pecks or light kisses. This had passion, long awaited lust. He laid me down on the bed, falling over me delicately. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Edward, are…" he shut me up by crashing his lips to mine. I went along with it, matching his movements with just as much want. He changed our position, placing me on top of him. I pulled off his shirt easily, kissing the smooth skin down his neck and across his collar bone. We both laughed as I wrapped myself tightly around him. Our eyes locked, and our smiles widened as a giggle escaped my lips. I kissed his lips again. I felt his cool hand touch the soft skin under my shirt. My skin was on fire as he moved his cool hands up my sides, pulling the thin fabric of my shirt with them.

He stopped abruptly, pulling away from me and reaching for his shirt. I slid carelessly off of him, trying to control my racing heart and spinning head. He moved off the bed and across the room. He finally turned to face me once he was back to the way he was only minutes pervious.

"Edward, Annie, come down stairs please." My mother's voice rang up the stairs. She probably knew what we were up to and opted to call for us instead of interrupting, which would have been a hundred times more embarrassing.

"Coming, Mom." I said a little above a normal voice. My eyes were still locked on Edward standing a few feet away from me. "You weren't going to stop us." I said, or asked I wasn't sure. It was something that had never happened before and I wasn't sure what to think. We never let ourselves get too swept up, because we knew it would have to end and it wasn't fair to either of us. It was usually him who was stronger, but there were occasionally time when I had the will to slow us down. This had been different, though.

"We should go, Matt brought Bella." I let him pull me off the bed by the hand. He led me down the stairs, our hands still entwined. I looked down at them, our left hands perfectly molded together. Something just clicked and I knew what I wanted: Everything.

'Yes,' I thought simply. I didn't want to say anything out loud, because I didn't want anyone else to know. This was something that belonged to only us, and not one else could ruin it. I didn't want to hear anyone else's concerns, opinions, or rejections.

I felt his hand tighten around mine. He stopped and turned to face me, the smile on his face was one that I thought I would never see. He was truly happy. I leaned down and kissed him, thankful that we could still be happy after everything that we've been through this past year.

"Annie, hurry up."Rosalie's shrill voice broke up apart, but didn't remove the smiles. We continued down the steps and towards the dining room. Breaking apart just before we entered, Edward took his seat next to Matt, as I sat in between Rosalie and Esme. We caught each other's eyes once more, before reverting back into our normal façade. I looked across from me and saw Alice weakly smiling at me. Of course she would know, but I wasn't going to say anything to anyone, at least not yet.

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one more chapter and New Moon's comes to a close!!! i'm working on an eclipse version, hoping to take this through breaking dawn, but i need some feedback...should i just keep it all in this fic or post a new one?


	15. Chapter 15

**To Live to Die**

As Bella made her case, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the idea. She wanted a vote, a family vote. How could I sit and decide if I wanted my best friend to die or not? Who was I to decide for her? She wanted everyone's opinion, and I knew that she was braver than me. I couldn't sit here and hear which of them didn't want her be to be part of the family.

After she finished her speech, one that I was sure took a lot of effort on her part. I clenched my eyes closed before pushing my chair back. Everyone stared at me as I stood from the table. Esme placed a delicate hand on my wrist as she stared up at me concerned.

"I can't be a part of this." I said simply as I walked out of the room. A white plush chair was a few feet away from the entrance to the dining room, so I sat in it. Curling up, I listened as best I could to their verdicts.

Matt of course didn't want her to change, that wasn't a surprise. But everyone that did want to, Jasper, Alice, my parents, it was good to here. Rosalie agreed with Matt, but I figured that was for different reasons than his own, but Edward agreeing with Matt came as a shock. I pressed my body further into the cushions. If he didn't want her to become a vampire how could he want me to?

My thoughts were cut off as I heard someone come into the room. I looked up to see Matt push the television off its base, before turning to see me. I gave him a sympathetic smile, but it only seemed to anger him more.

"Annie, sometimes I don't understand you. Why would you walk out on something like that? She's your best friend do you really want her to die?" He asked taking a few steps towards me. I slowly got out of the chair, walking over to him.

"If I chose for her to change, you would have hated me, and if I didn't choose that she would have hated me. Please don't be mad at me." He reached out and grabbed my arm, harder than I had expected. He pulled me closer to him forcibly. "OW, Matt that hurts." I hissed quietly.

"Talk her out of it. I know you can, please Annie. You don't want her to die when she doesn't need to. It wouldn't be fair." I looked up into his eyes, and wished there was something in them that reminded me of our relation. Carlisle had a picture somewhere of what Matt looked like before, and we had the same brilliantly warm brown eyes. Sometime I forgot he was even my blood brother.

"Matt, let her go." Edward's voice was calm. He said it like he was talking to a child playing with a glass vase. Matt's hand dropped from my arm, and I felt Edward place me against his chest although I didn't move. Matt stared at us, and I knew he must have been having a really bad night.

He and Edward turned to face the dining room, Matt walking in quickly to take hold of Bella. Apparently she had wanted Alice to change here right then, which even I knew was a stupid thing to ask. Edward and I stood in the entryway, watching Matt hold Bella almost the same way Edward held me. Carlisle stepped between Bella and Alice.

"If you'd like Bella, after Graduation…" he let his words float in the room. She looked up at Matt with pleading eyes. I stared at Carlisle. Graduation was supposed to be when I was going to change, and I knew that they wouldn't be able to handle having two newborns.

With this new realization, everything fell into place for me. I didn't really want to change. Like Matt had said if Bella could change without a need, I certainly could live even though I wouldn't last long. I placed my hand on top of the one Edward had against my stomach, holding me to him. I looked up at him with a sweet smile on my lips before looking back at Carlisle.

"I'm sure we could find a way…" he was saying, looking at Bella then turning to me. "Sweetheart, how would you feel if we moved your date?"

"She can have it." I said simply. "I don't need it. I've decided that I would rather live as long and as normally as I can." Rosalie suddenly reappeared behind Carlisle from somewhere else in the house. Her face was lit up with happiness, while everyone else's was one of confusion. This had been one thing that we all knew was going to happen. I was going to become one of them eventually.

"Annie, what are you saying?" Carlisle asked taking a step closer to me, his brow furrowed with confusion. He was one of the only ones that knew. Esme knew of course, and I had told Bella, but everyone else believed that I was a healthy teenage girl.

"I don't want to change. The scholarship has already gone through for college, and I really don't want to waste the money I've put in. I know this isn't going to make you happy, but I just don't want to do this anymore. If Bella wants to, let her but I've made up my mind." I glanced at Alice, noticing the redness around her eyes. If she could she would probably be crying, because she saw. She knew what was going to happen to me now, and she knew almost to the day when it would happen.

Edward's hand tightened around my waist. He could see it too, and I knew Matt must have as well. This only left three in the dark, and as much as I wanted them to stay that way, Carlisle wouldn't let that happen.

"Annie baby, think about this. You are still going to die. There's nothing else we can do. I know everything has been hard these last few months, but this can't be what you want. It's not enough time for you to be happy, sweetie. Please, you have to let me save you." He was pleading, helplessly with me, but I wasn't about to change my mind.

"Will everyone just back off? She wants to live, let her. I don't understand the need make her one of us. Look at her, she's perfect just the way she is. Let's just leave her alone." Rosalie took a step further into the room, advancing into the group. I smiled at her, glad that she agreed with me, even though it was under false pretenses.

I felt Edward draw in a breath, preparing to set her straight. I leaned into him more, looking up at him pleadingly. 'Please don't.' I thought. The last thing I wanted was to upset her when I'd only just now gotten her back.

"She's dying." I turned my head quickly to the source of the voice. Esme was tucked away in a corner of the room. Usually none of us noticed her during our little quarrels, but she was always there. This time, however she put her two cents in. "She's been sick since she was little. And now that the treatments are more obscure and experimental, she doesn't have much longer. This is why we decided, when the time came, Carlisle would change her. Save her life like he had all of ours." She was now in the middle of us all. Though she was talking to everyone else, she only stared at me. Our eyes locked together. The tears falling from mine matched the red puffiness of hers.

"Esme," Carlisle said placing a hand on her back, but she didn't even acknowledge him.

"They needed to know sweetheart, we've kept it a secret for too long. I think it would be best if there were no more secrets. They only seem to hurt the ones we love."

"I'm prepared for whatever comes, but I at least want to try and live somewhat normally. After graduation I'm going to do what I want with my life. Starting with us," I said grasping Edward's hand in mine. "I know _some_ of you don't agree with it, but I love him. I'm want to be with him, go to college together. That way if I get too sick he can bring me home. I know it doesn't sound amazing, but it's what I want, more than anything."

I stared at the faces around me. All of them were sad, some angry, some hurt, I'd been avoiding this moment for so long that now that it had come I was glad it was over. We'd all been hurt one way or another now, and it was time for the healing to begin. I wanted things to go back to the way they were, all of us living happily under the same roof. If I was going to die, I was at least going to go out happily with my family around me.

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That's it for Annie, let me know what you think!! And thank you for all the reviews so far!!!


	16. Chapter 16

here's my version of eclipse....and who knows possibly onwards!!! i hope you enjoy!!!**

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**The Beginning of the End**

_It was getting late and I was waiting in the kitchen. Even if they didn't sleep, it still took Alice longer to get ready than me. Nibbling on my toast I twirled me hair anxiously. There was a boy waiting at school for me, and the last thing I wanted was to keep him waiting. _

_Finally in the car to the tiny Forks High, I relaxed. The parking lot was filling and as Rosalie guided her shiny red car next to the Volvo I was out of my seat. I ran across the lot a wide smile on my face. I skidded to a stop._

"_I couldn't find red roses," the voice was velvet. I stared at him wide eyed, frozen in horror. _

"_Edward, what have you done?" I whispered hoarsely, my mouth going dry. _

"_There were no red roses, and I knew that's what you loved." He held the bouquet out to me, waiting for me to take them. I didn't move, staring from the partially covered white roses to his face._

_The thick red liquid dripped slowly into a puddle at his feet and it was then that I saw the source of the blood. His lifeless blue eyes stared at me, horror still gleaming in them. Travis's body was mauled, torn and bleeding from every tear ripped into him. I covered my mouth, tears stinging my eyes. _

"_Oh God, Travis," I whimpered._

"_You were done with him. I needed your big day to be perfect." He stepped over Travis's body reaching towards me. _

"_Edward no, stay away from me." I screamed._

"_Annie, I love you."_

"_No, No, NO!"_

I gasped, shooting up from my nervous sleep. My throat was bone dry and sweat was covering my skin. It was a nightmare, but not the first one. There had been others just like this one. There was the cake, red velvet which was really blood. And the red carpet on the snow, again blood not fabric.

"Annie," Edward's voice was soft, but I still flinched away from it.

I tried relaxing, but as he slid into bed next to me I couldn't hide the shaking. Everything had changed since our return from Italy. A big part of me just wanted to go back to the way things were before, simple and bittersweet.

We were still keeping our plans to ourselves as best we could. I didn't want anyone helping or knowing if I could help it. Alice tried to intervene but I stopped her before she could even begin. The nightmares were probably due to the nerves. Hiding things from friends, family, and just the anxiety of actually going through with a wedding was enough to put me on bed rest for a week, something that Carlisle actually threatened if I didn't take better care of myself.

My medical condition still heading south, I tried to stay as relaxed as possible, which was near impossible. My muscles were getting weaker and the pain more prominent, but I could still function which is all I cared about. I was just glad that my dad could prescribe me the strongest pain killers known to man. The pills made everything easier, walking, sitting, even just lying with Edward hurt because of his marble frame. I liked having the pain dulled because that way it was one thing I didn't have to worry about thinking of.

Hiding everything was once again my passed time. If I wasn't hiding wedding plans from my family, then it was hiding my feelings and ailments from my all too concerned fiancé – if I could really call him that.

To top everything off senior year is coming to an end and it's time for me to decide my all too short future. The school was already picked out, now I just have to figure out what Edward expects, what my parents expect, and what I really want for myself.

If I'm lucky, I'll die before everything goes down. I'm sure a funeral will be much less painful than a graduation/wedding/college extravaganza.

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don't forget to review!!! they make me type a lot faster....


	17. Chapter 17

**Painless Futures**

"He did what?" I squealed into the receiver pressed to my ear. I sat on the shag rug on my tiled bathroom floor. The shower was running, but I was squeezed in between the white porcelain toilet and the free standing bathtub. I glanced up checking the door, hoping no one heard me.

"Please don't make me say it again." Bella sighed. I curled my legs into my chest trying not to let out another excited scream.

"But…oh my god, Bella this is a big deal." I whispered into my cell phone. I cupped it closer to my ear, using both hands to hold it up. "What are you going to do?"

"Do? I don't know, I hate this,"

I glanced up again, as the handle turned and Edward came in barely opening the door. Smiling up at him I moved out from my hiding place. He sat on the counter and I moved to stand in between his legs. I looked at him with smiling eyes, 'you knew didn't you'. He gave me his perfect smile as he pulled me into his chest.

"Annie, are you still there," Bella said as I get out a giggle. I turned around, my back into his chest. "I need you to tell me what to do."

"You love him Bella just do what your heart tells you." I said, Edward pulled me closer to him kissing me on the cheek. I let another giggle escape from my lips.

"Annie, what are you doing?" Bella asked laughing with annoyance. "Are you with Edward? Annie, are you with your boyfriend while I'm having a crisis?"

"Sorry, Bella but he asked you to marry him. It's not that big a deal." I told her pushing out of Edward's arms. "Just think about it okay. I know it's repulsive to you, but think about what you're getting. You could be Matt's, this disgusts me to think about, but think about how awesome it could be to truly belong to someone and have everyone know it."

I kept my back turned, not wanting to see Edward's face. "Thanks Annie, you can go back to making out with your boyfriend now." She cut the call mid-giggle. I turned around slowly, when I saw the huge smile on his face I knew one just as big broke out across mine.

"Don't look at me like that…" I said walking towards him. He pulled me into his arms and I leaned up to kiss him with a smile.

"We should probably be heading back down stairs." Edward said leaning into my ear.

"I was planning on actually taking a shower, but if you'd like…" I said pulling his shirt as I walked away, towards the running shower, "you could always join me."

"Annie," he said rolling his eyes but moving with me. I smiled at him, knowing he wouldn't and that we couldn't but it was fun to try.

I playfully tried to push him towards the door. He gave me one last kiss before heading towards the door. I pulled my shirt over my head before he closed the door, mostly because I knew he was still watching. In a few short months I was going to be married to him and as scared as I was, I knew that everything was going to be better once things fell into place.

The next morning I awoke with the same throbbing and unattractive sweating that has slowly become the norm for me. Rolling out of my ultra-soft bed was like tumbling down a gravel paved hill. Thankfully I always keep my mighty pain killers on the night stand in a pretty trinket box Rosalie bought me from China, the perfect disguise, even if everyone knew.

Washing three tiny pills down with a gulp of lukewarm water I laid still for a few moments, praying they would kick in faster than they always do. Getting ready in the morning was beginning to get harder with every passing week. Some nights I think about sleeping in my clothes so I can skip that step in the morning.

"Sweetheart, are you getting up soon?" Esme asked, her sweet voice nagging me to rise from beneath the heavy silk comforter.

"Yes, I'm up." I whisper hoarsely. She turns to leave after watching me for a few moments, I only know because I catch a flash of her reflection in my mirror. Refusing to look at her or anyone in the morning, that way I don't see their worried expressions and by the time I'm presentable no one can tell there's anything wrong with me.

The car ride to school is always a little tense. One because Alice always wants to bring up the wedding which she knows is not a topic of discussion, and two because Edward sends worried glances at me concerning the latest nightmare he happened to overhear. This is why I like to listen to the radio, singing along and trying my hardest not to pay any attention to the other occupants in the car.

Ignoring Alice and Matt had practically become an Olympic event for me. At first it was just to get them to stop worrying about me, now it was all about privacy. The more I avoided them, the more time I had to be with Edward alone.

After my government class I was pulled out of the crowd of students. I knew exactly who it was the second his arms snaked around my waist. Edward pulled me against him as he leaned against our lockers down the hall. I barely had time to giggle before his lips were on mine.

My hands ran up his chest as I leaned further into him, savoring this moment. It was something that I'd done plenty of time in hall identical to this one, but the first time it was with someone I truly loved.

"God, get a room." Angela's voice yelled playfully from down the hall. I broke away from Edward for air, sending her a glare. He continued to kiss my neck before I pulled completely away from him.

"We're going to be late for Trig." I told him pulling him uselessly by the hand. He gave me the same stern look of disappointment that I always received when breaking up one of our make out sessions, but it was time I played the responsible one.

"Happy with yourself?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we proceeded to our class. I swept the crowd of peers passing us, still amazed at the fact that people could believe we were together. If only they knew, I thought.

"I'm very happy, thanks for asking." I told him smugly leaning up to kiss him quickly on the lips.

The school days were beginning to pass quicker, considering the fast approaching graduation. I was spending more time sneaking peeks of bridal magazines, than studying for finals. A part of me wanted help, but I didn't know how to ask for it without letting my sisters and mother take over the whole affair. The only time I really got help from anyone was when the house was empty, leaving me and Edward alone.

"May…"

"December…"

"June…" I said looking up at Edward. The afternoon was dragging on, and like most days instead of doing homework we decided to sit in the living room with a large bridal magazine.. Like most discussions of our coming nuptials, we were arguing about when we wanted to get married. The decision was fun to think about in theory, and was becoming increasingly annoying.

"Why would you want it so soon after graduation? Let's wait for winter,"

"The whole point was to get everything done as soon as possible. What if we wait and…"

"But think of how beautiful you would look in a white dress on a snowy day." Edward pulled me closer into his arms, as we sat on the small plush chair. My legs hung over the side while I kept one arm wrapped around his neck the other held in his own hand.

I glared at his persistence. For the last thirty minutes we'd been going through the calendar. He insisted on a winter wedding, something simple in the snow, while I insisted on a summer wedding.

"You can try to flatter me into what you want, but it won't work. My mind's set and since I'm the bride, I choose."

"June, are you sure? Because if Bella gets her way…"

"She would postpone it for her best friend. A few days won't kill her." I smiled up at him, leaning to kiss his lips.

"June!" Alice squealed. I nearly rolled off the side of my bed as her voice entered my room. After I had eaten dinner I curled up in bed, forcing the delicious food Edward cooked for me to stay down. The last thing I needed was to become a bulimic as well.

"Alice, I thought we talked about this? You promised to stay out of it, until I asked for help." I stared up at her with a pained expression. I wasn't sure if it was because my stomach had begun churning again or because I couldn't believe she was trying to weasel her way into my plans again.

"Annie, look at you. Please let us help. Everything that's going on right now could be painless if you get someone to help you." She gave me her big puppy dog eyes and as set against it as I was, she had a point.

I needed help in more ways than one. The word painless was practically a god send. Things needed to get done now that we'd set a date and I was in no condition or frame of mind to get anything done. Even if I had Edward and Bella to help me, it would probably take me a year just to decide where to start.

"Alright, Alice you can help me. But what I say goes." I tried being as straight forward and demanding as possible.

"Of course, Annie I'm not going to ruin anything. This is your day. I already know where I'm going to start, roses. A big bouquet of red roses and pedals for the walkway." She began and I winced at the words.

"No roses, especially red. I pick the flowers, the dress, and the decorations. I just need you to give me examples and find the stuff I want. That's really all I need from you. It's going to be small. Why don't you ask Bella if you can plan her entire affair? She'd probably love that." I told her rolling back onto my side, away from her.

"Bella's affair?" I winced again.

"Don't say a word. If you don't know than she hasn't decided what to do yet. Please just get me those huge books of samples or something. We'll start tomorrow." I promised her. My body was beginning to fall into the early stages of sleep and I didn't have the energy to fight it.

"Thank you Annie, it's going to be beautiful. I promise." She hurried out of the room after that, and I leaned over to my little trinket box for one of my pills. Hopefully taking one now would allow me to slip into a sleep not riddled with nightmares of my fiancé and the blood of a boy I almost loved.


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